urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:frhjk жёлтая паибень e 2008-10-22T12:36:11Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:frhjk:39067 2008-10-22T12:36:11Z 2008-10-22T12:36:11Z vnutri menza grozovaza tucha, zhdu-ne dozydus' russkoj raskladki, inache libo lopnu, libo sduyus'. chto luchshe, ne reshila poka, molnii zlosti buravyat nebosvod e moe.<br /><br />druz'ya, zhdem mne kompa. ah, skol'ko texta, skol'ko texta....propadaet! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:frhjk:38806 2008-07-14T21:19:51Z 2008-07-14T21:19:51Z и скучно и грустно и <s> некому морду набить </s> поговорить не с кем, вот так абсолютно банально и ума не приложить. точки приложения рассыпаются пикселями от прикосновения. <br /><br />само по себе состояние недостойно поста *условно, да-да, условно*. достойно - наличие выводов при отсутствии вводов, шок наизнанку. не потрясает, рассыпается осенью. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:frhjk:38216 2008-05-24T22:41:19Z 2008-05-24T22:41:19Z Когда я жила на старой квартире, были у меня соседи-поляки. Иногда, особенно почему-то летом, они затевали разборки, которые приходились как раз на то время, когда я ложилась спать. Вот так, бывало, лежу, уставившись в потолок, и слушаю пронзительные крики на непонятом языке - высокий женский голос в режиме гороходробилки плескался осуждениями, ему в ответ грохал короткими каннонадами мужской. Так вот в процессе этой тренировки у себя скила социальной компетенции я более менее уравновешенно останавливалась на всё-таки неудовлетворении. когнитивного порядка: было жаль, что я не понимаю языка.<br /><br />Интересно, если нашим немецким соседям переводить наши громогласности, будут ли они более синсходительными?<br /><br />/и без модальности:/ ..протирать обратную сторону медали веллюровой тряпочкой без соблазна вглядеться в отражение.. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:frhjk:38110 2008-03-18T12:27:02Z 2008-03-18T13:07:11Z день рождения прошёл, не грустный, но мудрый-умудряющий получился, провела почти весь день одна, спокойствие начинает тяготить:) новый жизненный год начался с преодоления. есть чего воплощать, дело за силой и мотивацией, всё аутопоэтизм - вечный двигатель urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:frhjk:37541 2008-03-12T21:30:01Z 2008-03-12T21:30:01Z теряю владение немецким, а русский уже вышел из употребления. чем творить? зачем? urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:frhjk:37239 2008-02-10T20:07:35Z 2008-02-10T20:07:35Z обращайся с другими так (1. предикат), как хочешь, что б обращались с тобой (2. предикат).<br /><br />значение житейских мудростей *против которых как первая реакция - неприятие критическим умом* постигается острее при негативной модальности (например, когда обращение нехорошее) когда вдруг находишь себя погрязшим во втором предикате.<br /><br />искуссность подать себя с хорошей стороны воспитывается годами. сыграть плохое качество требует более рефлектированных усилий, нежели просто желание нравится окружающим. Оттого, когда есть сомнение в достоверности проявления (хорошего или плохого) - отдаю предпочтение плохому, как более характеристичному. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:frhjk:36750 2008-01-30T23:08:09Z 2008-01-30T23:08:09Z совместность прерывна точки прикосновения какова интенсивность<br />? urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:frhjk:36438 2007-10-16T08:31:14Z 2007-10-18T11:06:11Z <a name="cutid1"></a> и пусть было никаким лето. осень, такая осень, что дух заватывает, сумашедшим ароматом в ноздри, <br /><br />голова кругом от разноцветия, пронзает каждый день насквозь и растворяешься прозрачностью и насыщенностью воздуха. <br /><br />и раскинув руки, ладонями на тёплое дерево скамейки, пропитан сногсшибательной любовью, до самых-самых вот этих вдруг таких прело-нежных глубин. сидишь один, да так, что люди подсаживаются. а всё чужие.<br />и хочется быть близко-близким, взбалмошно-спутанным, <br /><br />плещет через край. следующей весной из этой земли - цветы невиданной красы.<br /><br />так сидишь на кухне, пьёшь <s> шато-лафит из горла </s> утренний кофе и понимаешь, <br /><br />что лучше всё же <s> хотя бы утренняя пробежка </s>. пробел, пробег, по белу снегу следов не найти: <br /><br />чувство любви (условно, до- и после-словно) занимает весьма опосредованное место. малый росток: <br /><br />и тонкое дерево бросает большую тень, если сменить перспективу. <br /><br />"мне хватает меня даже если ты смотришь в другую сторону. и даже тебя хватает - что вовсе уж не по канону." ((с) dvp) читать это вертикально, ввысь. <br /><br />когда тень коротка. потому что это сказочно красиво, когда <i> в японии цветёт сакура тут облетают дубы. </i> <s> я люблю тебя </s>. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:frhjk:36111 2007-10-11T08:23:41Z 2007-10-11T11:49:40Z "я люблю тебя" - лёгкое, как "я люблю утренний кофе"<br /><br />и методом исключения охватываются лишь предполагаемые переменные, знание - сила.<br /><br />дзен - спать, не смотря на знание. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:frhjk:36053 2007-09-12T20:20:44Z 2007-09-12T20:20:44Z - всё настолько банально, что было бы смешно, если бы не было так горько - <br />всегда есть выбор - либо рассмеяться, либо огорчиться <br /><br />даже если не огорчаешься, не всегда можешь рассмеяться.<br /><br />на полях отмечу - исключительно ради любви к перемычкам одинаковых слов разного содержания: недавно мне многолетняя подруга сказала: "ты изменилась, стала скрытна. раньше ты рассказывала о проблемах, но и могла о них посмеяться. сейчас ты хоть и не рассказываешь, но и не смеёшься больше." urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:frhjk:35638 2007-09-02T11:21:42Z 2007-09-02T11:21:42Z - всё настолько банально, что было бы смешно, если бы не было так горько - <br /><br /><i> всегда есть выбор - либо рассмеяться, либо огорчиться </i><br /><br />- быт разрушает любовь -<br /><br /><i> отсутствие быта разрушает любовь к совместному. любовь же разрушается от чего ни попадя </i><br /><br />- нашёл нужные слова - ищи нужную публику - <br /><br /><i> крик вопиющего в пустыне. слова, сказанные вне публики, несут душевный, облегчающий смысл. любовь аутопоэтична </i><br /><br /><i> Любовь как проект, семья как творческий союз. Перенос терминов из сферы профессиональной деятельности в личную как симптом рудиментаризации оценок роли личностного в развитии социального </i> следуя Борхесу, создаю библиографию несуществующих научных работ. И Делюз мне при этом судья (вот кто не жался с авторскими правами, а лишь поощрял кражу мыслей. Ибо - в движении - жизнь) urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:frhjk:35574 2007-08-31T11:22:11Z 2007-08-31T11:45:58Z «Первое, что нужно усвоить во взаимоотношениях с другими людьми, - это то, что им нельзя мешать быть счастливыми - так, как они того хотят»<br /><br /><br />охота до переноса афоризмов в предметно-практическую область сегодня. Как вариант ответа:<br />делить на своё и другое. <br /><br />но в отношениях всегда принимают участие как минимум двое ..<br /><br />пожелание "будь счастлив" - не более, чем пафос (одинокой силы в минус) urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:frhjk:35264 2007-08-31T06:37:50Z 2007-08-31T06:37:50Z Будда годами бился в одну стену. Обессилев, просидел 1000 лет перед ней в тишине. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:frhjk:34917 2007-08-30T21:52:19Z 2007-08-30T22:02:28Z когда пафос принимается за чистую монету, остаёшься обманутым сам собой.<br /><br /><a name="cutid1"></a> а внутри дрожит и дрожит. отдрожит, как с белых яблонь дым. вспоминаю давнее высказывание в ленте о глазах одного человека, откуда эта грусть в его глазах? так тоже будет. может, будет легче. главное, что будет иначе. <br />многое накопилось и затихает, не обретясь в словах. да что слова? в жестах, в прикосновениях. до чего же это похоже на настоящее. и пойдут мысли о самом разном, наконец-то пойдут. <br />стихи уже все написаны. всё об одном. скоро ли прорыв? без пафоса - не скоро. но есть надежда, от неё есть силы. улыбаться. слова отражаются в зеркалах текстов, одни и те же слова связаны разным смыслом и одним помыслом.<br />как уложить 14 недель в хотя бы 14 глотков, что б ухватить тот же результат. затаиться и ждать. улыбаясь. это важно. улыбка, игра, радость. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:frhjk:34783 2007-08-24T13:36:31Z 2007-08-24T13:36:31Z строчки-строчки - туда-сюда, ему-ей-им. и каждый рад кусочку разговора, тот каждый, кого разговор влечёт, каждый исключителен и неповторим, как галька в горсти: размахнуться и в воду - круги. мы не общаемся - мы трёмся боками друг о друга в твоей ладони, важное качество камушка - его цельность. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:frhjk:34503 2007-08-22T21:59:29Z 2007-08-22T21:59:29Z приехал племянник 6-ти лет в гости. Деть вносит в общение такой едва уловимый элемент чуда, что я пока затаила дыханье и жду<br />жизнь. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:frhjk:34300 2007-08-22T13:08:18Z 2007-08-22T13:08:18Z .<br />я посылаю знаки сос аос-матрос даос без корабля земля (продолжить ряд! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:frhjk:33806 2007-08-22T06:56:42Z 2007-08-22T07:31:30Z Не получается открытого текста, месяц за месяцем. Душа измаялась, всё об одном. Ночью мысли, но псу было плохо, так что рассвет встретили вместе, на травке. Благодатное утро. А мама ругается, что - ты утром в ванну зашла, а нос у тебя был красный. И не верит, что от расстройства. И тут тщетно, улыбаюсь я утру. Кому трубы-параходы, а кому бумажные кораблики.<br /><br />Пусть, как говорится, всем будет хорошо. И мне с ними. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:frhjk:33630 2007-08-21T21:47:17Z 2007-08-21T21:47:17Z мой племянник Данилка нарисовал: <br />"ХОРОШО, ЧТО МЫ НЕ КНИГА. А ТО БЫ НАС ВСЁ ВРЕМЯ ЛИСТАЛИ, КОГДА БЫ МЫ ХОТЕЛИ ПОСТОЯТЬ СПОКОЙНО".<br /><br />ДА! Постоять спокойно. - подумалось мне. - Ну или стояли бы всё время, когда хотелось бы быть полистаным.<br /><br />Время: не отделить зёрна от плевел. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:frhjk:33499 2007-08-04T11:24:59Z 2007-08-04T11:30:03Z иногда так бывает: сплошное кидалово и думаешь - нафига вообще мне этот альтруизм был нужен. <br />не было печали - продала баба порося. с улыбкой по жизни:)<br /><br />мат. велик, могуч и многорганен. иногда слышишь за матерным выражением семантическую растерянность, иногда наслаждаешься искуссным употреблением. с улыбкой:)<br /><br />работа с текстом на принципах творческого минимализма чревата сведением текста к "оомм". работа с красками на этих принципах чревата формами фотографического негатива. разные точки приложения сходных побуждений.<br /><br />работа с телом ещё далека от подобного творческого порога. не искусен. не искушён. <br /><br />зы: из предметно.практического: меня накрывало медным тазом, я приникал ко дну (постели в желании одного "завтра"). отлив. солнце и воздух. я отвечу тебе:) urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:frhjk:33271 2007-07-17T10:12:31Z 2007-07-17T10:12:31Z Когда я была маленькой, а деревья большими, я очень скептично относилась к народным мудростям. Читаю, например, расхожую байку о милых при первом знакомстве девушках, которые после определённого периода отношений невероятным образом превращаются в (нужное добавить по смыслу) и думаю: фу, как плоско думают, низко летают, сплошные патриархальные стереотипы (нет, вру, когда деревья были большими, я не употребляла категории "патриархальный", но что-то типа того.<br />Или смотрю кино какое-нибудь и отдаю себе отчёт, что в жизни такого не бывает. Сейчас я всё чаще живу в киносюжетах.<br /><br />Как-то уж не помню, кто (кажется мама моего школьного друга или его подруги) сказал мне: прежде, чем жениться-замуж выходить, познакомься с родителями предполагаемого принца, а там оно само ясно станет. Теперь за моими плечами два опыта долгих отношений и два опыта (не)приятия родителей. Оглядываясь назад, скажу, что отошение к свекровям складывалось не сразу, но склыдвалось, в чём-то подтверждая, а в чём-то и опровергая народную мудость. Однако, если принимать решения методом рубки с плеча на чёрное-белое, то народые мудости выдерживают проверку на прочность. На уровне сюжета. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:frhjk:32806 2007-06-14T10:35:29Z 2007-06-14T10:35:29Z снился сон потерь, в одном из отрывков бежали я, друг (символически подставное лицо сна) с моей собакой на поводке на очередной товарняк, запрыгнули, доехали, зову собаку, она появлятеся вся в крови, лапы перебиты, мой друг мне: "извини, я так устал, что как только запрыгнул, забыл втащить пса, так устал, сразу уснул". протащило пса за поездом. (уставший друг переломал мне любимое) посылаю друга, беру пса на руки, друг мне вслед: "ну извини, ну что ты, ты же остынешь, мы останемся друзьями, нажмёшь на reset и журнал обновится" (у меня не встроен reset в жизненные установки) urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:frhjk:32722 2007-06-12T22:24:06Z 2007-06-12T22:26:37Z ...и внезапно, а оно всегда так внезапно, хотя и до этого замечалось, да не бросалось в глаза, видишь себя неким безличным, бессубъектным предлогом в повестовании, а вокруг, и потом и до этого и далее по тексту очень даже именная такая жжизнь, и понимаешь, что ты мимо, тебя мимо, ходом своим череда дней, от горлышка до донышка, и неумолимо всё к одному идёт, неотвратимо и обманчиво одновременно, потому что вот сейчас упадёшь спать, утром морду в цель, о да, наконец-то, направишь и заскрипит колесо дальше. кричишь против ветра, собаку зовёшь например, а она и не слышит и понимаешь, жизнь идёт, в принципе идёт, только не с тобой за руку, вспоминаешь ... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:frhjk:32484 2007-06-12T14:57:01Z 2007-06-12T14:57:01Z подстригли собаку вчерась, сегодня на прогулке люди спрашивают: "это ирландский волкодав? молодой ещё, да?"<br />мне тоже надо к парикмахеру, срочь! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:frhjk:32104 2007-06-12T13:19:41Z 2007-06-12T13:19:41Z потеря - это когда горечи больше, чем ностальгии. пока есть желание вернуть - не всё ещё потеряно.)